/ Child Mental Health, Elementary (Ages 6–12), Parenting Tools and Tips, Teens / By Alex Hopkins. If you are looking for ways to help your kids have the best summer yet, you’re in the right place.
Summer can carry a lot of hope.
Parents may hope for more rest, more connection, fewer school-year battles, more outdoor time, less rushing, and maybe even a little more joy at home. Kids may hope for freedom, fun, sleep, friends, screens, camps, trips, and a break from the pressure of school.
But somewhere along the way, trying to create the best summer yet can start to feel like one more thing to get right.
The internet is full of summer bucket lists, reading plans, camp ideas, chore charts, screen time systems, travel goals, and advice about how to make every week meaningful. Some of those ideas can be helpful. But they can also leave parents feeling like the best summer yet requires constant planning, creativity, money, structure, and emotional energy.
It does not.
The best summer yet may actually begin with a deep breath.
It may begin with permission to let summer be slower, messier, simpler, and less impressive than the version we sometimes imagine. Kids do not need every minute scheduled. Parents do not need to become full-time camp counselors. Families do not need to squeeze meaning out of every afternoon.
A good summer does not have to be a perfectly optimized summer.
Permission To Have A Relaxing Summer
Many families move through the school year in survival mode.
There are early mornings, homework, lunches, practices, therapy appointments, school events, social stress, deadlines, and the constant pressure of getting everyone where they need to be. By the time summer arrives, many kids and parents are tired.
Rest matters.
From a nervous system perspective, rest is not laziness. Rest is part of how the body recovers from sustained stress. Children and teens need space where they are not constantly performing, producing, transitioning, or being evaluated.
That does not mean summer should have no expectations. Kids still need sleep, movement, connection, limits, responsibilities, and some predictability. But there is a difference between a summer rhythm and a summer performance plan.
A summer rhythm gives the day a gentle shape. A performance plan turns the day into one more thing to accomplish.
For some families, a rhythm may sound like: slow mornings when possible, getting dressed and eating breakfast, some movement or outdoor time, a period of quiet time, helping around the house, time for friends, play, screens, reading, or hobbies, and a predictable bedtime most nights.
The goal is not to make every day magical. The goal is to help kids feel held by enough structure while still having room to exhale.
The best summer yet might include camps, trips, and activities. It might also include ordinary days at home, repeated snacks, sibling arguments, library visits, sprinkler afternoons, boredom, and parents working while kids figure out what to do next.
That still counts.
Boredom Is Not The Enemy
Boredom gets a bad reputation.
For many parents, the words “I’m bored” can feel like an accusation. It can sound like, “You are not doing enough to entertain me.” It can create pressure to solve the feeling quickly with an activity, a screen, a playdate, or a plan.
But boredom is not always a problem to fix.
Boredom can help kids develop creativity, self-direction, frustration tolerance, problem-solving, and a sense of agency. Child Mind Institute notes that boredom can support creativity and self-esteem when kids have some support getting started with unstructured time (Child Mind Institute, 2024). Play also supports healthy development, including executive functioning, social learning, emotional regulation, and brain development (Yogman et al., 2018).
In other words, when a child says, “I’m bored,” something important may be happening. Their brain may be looking for stimulation, their body may be restless, their imagination may not be warmed up yet, their nervous system may be adjusting to the absence of structure, or their creativity may simply need a little time to come online.
This does not mean parents should ignore kids or leave them to struggle endlessly. It means boredom does not need to be treated like an emergency.
A helpful response might be:
“I believe you. Boredom can feel uncomfortable. I’m not going to solve it right away, but I can help you get started.”
That kind of response communicates two things at once: Your feeling makes sense, and I trust you to move through it.
When Boredom Becomes Dysregulating
At the same time, boredom is not always simple.
For some kids, especially kids with ADHD, autism, anxiety, sensory differences, trauma histories, grief, depression, or other vulnerable nervous systems, boredom can become deeply dysregulating. What looks like “just being bored” on the outside may feel like agitation, emptiness, panic, loneliness, or loss of control on the inside.
This is where balance matters.
Boredom can be positive, but too much unstructured time can overwhelm some kids. A child who does well with thirty minutes of open-ended play may fall apart with four empty hours. A teen who says they want total freedom may become more isolated, irritable, or anxious when the day has no anchors.
The goal is not to eliminate boredom. The goal is to make boredom tolerable enough that kids can practice moving through it.
For younger children, this may mean creating a “boredom menu” with simple options: blocks, art, outside play, books, music, sensory bins, pretend play, puzzles, or helping with a household task.
For older children, it may help to sort activities into categories: move your body, make something, help someone, rest, go outside, connect with someone, or do something you used to enjoy.
For tweens and teens, boredom may need more dignity. They may not want a parent-generated activity list, but they may still need support. Try asking, “Do you want ideas, company, or space?” That gives them some agency while still keeping connection available.
The best summer yet is not a summer with no boredom. It is a summer where boredom becomes something kids can learn to notice, name, and move through with support.
Connection Does Not Have To Be Complicated
When parents imagine a connected summer, they may picture vacations, special outings, big adventures, or long meaningful conversations.
Those can be wonderful. But connection is often much smaller than that.
Connection can be a parent sitting nearby while a child plays. Connection can look like a parent sitting nearby while a child plays, a quiet drive with a teen, a walk after dinner, making pancakes on a Saturday, a hand on the shoulder, laughing at the same ridiculous video, reading in the same room, or ten minutes of undivided attention before bed.
The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard describes “serve and return” interactions as responsive back-and-forth exchanges that help shape brain architecture and support development (Center on the Developing Child, n.d.). While this language is often used for younger children, the principle continues across development: attuned relationships help organize the nervous system.
Connection does not require parents to be endlessly available. It does not require perfect patience or constant emotional presence. It often just requires small moments of responsiveness.
A child shows you something. You look.
A teen makes a comment from the passenger seat. You stay open.
A child melts down. You move closer before you lecture.
A sibling conflict erupts. You help them repair instead of only assigning blame.
These moments tell the child: You matter. I see you. I am still here.
Making this the best summer yet may have less to do with planning the perfect activity and more to do with creating small, repeated moments where your child feels enjoyed.
Supporting Peer Connection
Summer can be wonderful for friendships, but it can also make peer connection harder.
During the school year, kids often see peers automatically. Summer removes that built-in contact. Some children feel relieved by the break from social stress. Others feel lonely, forgotten, or unsure how to initiate plans.
Parents can support peer connection without turning into full-time social coordinators.
For younger children, this may mean helping set up simple play opportunities with a clear beginning and end. Long, open-ended playdates can be hard for some kids. A shorter plan, like “one friend comes over from 10:00–12:00,” may be more successful than an entire afternoon.
For older children, it may mean helping them think through who they want to see and what kind of plan feels manageable. Some kids do better with structured activities: swimming, basketball, baking, a movie, a park, or a shared project.
For teens, support may look more behind-the-scenes. They may need rides, money boundaries, help thinking through plans, or quiet encouragement to reach out. A parent might say, “It seems like you miss seeing people, but initiating is hard. Do you want help thinking of one low-pressure plan this week?”
This is especially important for kids and teens who are anxious, neurodivergent, socially unsure, or recovering from friendship stress. They may want connection and avoid it at the same time.
Summer peer connection does not have to be constant. One or two steady points of contact can go a long way.
Protect The Basics Without Making Summer Feel Rigid
A relaxed summer still needs anchors.
Sleep, food, movement, outdoor time, family connection, and limits around screens all affect regulation. The CDC recommends that children and adolescents ages 6–17 get at least 60 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity each day (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024). Movement does not have to mean formal exercise. It can be swimming, biking, walking the dog, playing basketball, jumping on a trampoline, hiking, dancing, or running around outside.
Sleep matters too. Many kids can handle some flexibility in the summer, but big shifts in sleep can affect mood, attention, anxiety, and frustration tolerance.
Screens may also need a summer plan. Not a shame-based plan, but a realistic one. Screens are often fun, social, regulating, and convenient. They can also crowd out boredom, movement, creativity, sleep, and in-person connection. For many families, the question is not, “How do we remove screens?” but “How do we help screens take their proper place?”
Child Mind Institute suggests that successful summer breaks often include some structure, realistic expectations, and a plan for downtime so the lack of school-year routine does not become overwhelming (Arky, 2025).
A good summer anchor might sound like:
“We are going to keep mornings pretty slow, but everyone needs breakfast, clothes, and some movement before screens.”
Or:
“You can have downtime after camp. I’m not going to ask a million questions right away. Later we’ll do dinner, showers, and some family time.”
Or:
“You do not have to be busy all day, but your body needs daylight, movement, food, and sleep.”
The best summer yet is not about rigid structure. It is about enough rhythm to help the nervous system feel safe.
A Few Supports For Parents and Kids
Before filling the calendar, it may help to pause and reflect on the questions in our Setting Up for Summer Success handout in our Free Resources LIbrary:
Additionally, here are a couple resources to use with your kids to help structure their summer:
Let Summer Be Human
There will probably be days when everyone has too much screen time.
There may be days when siblings argue, plans fall through, kids complain, teens withdraw, and parents lose patience.
There may be days when the beautiful summer rhythm completely falls apart.
That does not mean you are doing summer wrong.
It means you are a family.
The best summer yet does not have to be impressive. It does not have to be packed. It does not have to be worthy of a photo album or a social media recap.
Maybe the best summer yet is one where your family slows down enough to notice each other.
Where boredom is allowed, but not ignored.
Where kids have room to rest and room to grow.
Where parents offer connection without pressure.
Where structure supports the family instead of controlling the family.
Where everyone gets to exhale a little.
That kind of summer may not look perfect from the outside. But inside the home, it may feel like safety, steadiness, play, repair, and connection.
And that is more than enough.
References
Arky, B. (2025, June 11). Strategies for a successful summer break. Child Mind Institute.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, July 3). Physical activity guidelines for school-aged children and adolescents.
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (n.d.). Serve and return: Back-and-forth exchanges.
Child Mind Institute. (2024, November 13). The benefits of boredom.
Yogman, M., Garner, A., Hutchinson, J., Hirsh-Pasek, K., Golinkoff, R. M., Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, & Council on Communications and Media. (2018). The power of play: A pediatric role in enhancing development in young children. Pediatrics, 142(3), e20182058.
