Slowing Down in a Season That Speeds Up
As the holiday season approaches, many families feel a mix of excitement, anticipation, and stress. The pace quickens, expectations rise, and routines change—often in ways that challenge both kids and adults. From school breaks and family gatherings to sensory overload and disrupted sleep, this time of year can stretch our nervous systems to their limits. For children and teens with vulnerable nervous systems, staying regulated through the holidays often takes extra support, structure, and compassion.
At Early Connections, we see how this season amplifies everything. Joy and connection can feel bigger—but so can dysregulation and exhaustion. For kids who are neurodivergent, highly sensitive, or healing from trauma, holiday changes can bring both delight and distress. That’s why this post focuses on staying regulated through the holidays—using small, mindful moments to help children and caregivers remain grounded, connected, and responsive rather than reactive.
This isn’t about achieving perfect calm or balance. It’s about noticing when the nervous system needs care and creating space to reset—together.
The Holidays Through a Nervous System Lens
Our nervous systems don’t distinguish between “good” and “bad” stress; both excitement and overwhelm activate the same internal alarm system. During the colder months, our bodies naturally crave slower rhythms and rest, yet the world often demands the opposite: constant motion and stimulation.
For children and teens—especially those with ADHD, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or trauma histories—these changes can create a mismatch between what their bodies need and what the environment demands. The result? Meltdowns, shutdowns, irritability, or withdrawal. Recognizing these moments as nervous-system overload (not willful behavior) is key to staying regulated through the holidays.
Common challenges include:
- Unpredictable routines and shifting sleep schedules
- Sensory overstimulation from lights, crowds, and noise
- Social fatigue from extended interactions
- Emotional contagion—absorbing the stress of others
- Loss of control, as adults often set the pace and plans
Understanding that these responses are nervous-system driven helps parents move from correction to connection—from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What does your body need right now?”
Mindful Moments That Support Regulation
Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean meditation or long periods of stillness. It’s simply the practice of noticing what’s happening in your body and environment, and responding with care. Mindful awareness helps children and adults sense when the nervous system is drifting toward overwhelm, and intentionally return to balance.
Inspired by resources created by Beacon House Therapeutic Services and Trauma Team in the United Kingdom, here are a few ways to weave regulation into your days and support staying regulated through the holidays:
Find Your “Glimmers”
Look for small, positive sensory moments—a warm drink, the sound of music, sunlight on your face, a soft blanket. These “glimmers” signal safety to the nervous system and counterbalance stress.
Slow Down the Pace
Whatever you’re doing—preparing meals, getting ready to go out, or cleaning up—try doing it 10% slower. The nervous system mirrors the speed of those around it. When caregivers slow down, children’s bodies often follow.
Ground in the Senses
Step outside for a minute. Notice what you can see, hear, and feel. Encourage your child to take a few deep breaths or hold something cool, smooth, or textured. These sensory anchors help bring attention back to the body’s present state.
Use Movement as Medicine
Heavy work activities—carrying groceries, raking leaves, stretching, or going for a walk—help discharge excess energy and organize the body’s sensory input. Physical movement is one of the most powerful ways of staying regulated through the holidays.
Create Sensory-Friendly Rituals
Keep lighting soft, sounds manageable, and routines predictable. Swap flashing lights for steady ones. Limit overlapping sounds from TVs, music, and conversation. Sensory safety helps the whole family feel more grounded.
Cozy Connection
Beacon House calls this the “Human in Blankets” moment—wrap up together, breathe, and be still. These quiet, attuned moments of co-regulation are what help children’s nervous systems settle most effectively.
Preparing for Change
As you build rhythms that support regulation, preparation can also be a powerful ally. It’s one of the simplest and most effective ways to prevent dysregulation. Talk through upcoming changes in schedule, describe who will be present at gatherings, and use visual supports or countdowns for transitions.
Predictability creates felt safety. Whether through a short bedtime ritual, a shared breakfast, or a morning check-in, these small anchors remind kids that even when things feel different, connection stays the same. Establishing predictable touch points throughout the day is essential for staying regulated through the holidays.
Create a small “regulation kit” for your child: favorite snacks, noise-cancelling headphones, fidgets, or a scent they love. Familiar sensory tools help them self-soothe when overstimulated or anxious.
When Overload Happens
Even with preparation, moments of overload are inevitable. Children often “hold it together” in public settings, then release their stored-up stress at home. This isn’t manipulation—it’s safety. Their nervous systems finally feel secure enough to let go.
When that happens:
- Regulate before reasoning. Connection must come before correction. Offer food, a drink, or a quiet space before discussing behavior.
- Model repair. If you lose patience, name it and reconnect: “That was a lot for me too. Let’s take a break together.”
- Prioritize recovery. Schedule downtime after stimulating events. Quiet play, reading, or simply lying under a blanket helps the body return to baseline.
The goal isn’t to avoid dysregulation entirely but to respond with understanding when it happens—supporting recovery instead of punishment.
Caring for the Caregiver
Children borrow the regulation of the adults around them. When you’re overstretched, their nervous systems feel it too.
To stay grounded yourself:
- Step outside and notice your surroundings.
- Light a candle and take a few slow breaths.
- Put on music that helps your body release tension.
- Ask yourself, “What can I let go of today?”
You don’t have to be endlessly patient—you just have to repair when rupture happens. Your willingness to notice your own state is one of the most powerful tools for staying regulated through the holidays.
As you care for your own nervous system, it becomes easier to offer co-regulation to your child—creating an emotional ripple effect that steadies everyone.
A Neurodiversity-Affirming Mindset
The holidays can be a beautiful time of connection and a challenging time for many nervous systems. Bright lights, loud gatherings, disrupted routines, travel, and social expectations all create conditions that can push even well-regulated adults toward overload. For children and teens with more sensitive or variable nervous systems, this season often magnifies both strengths and stressors.
A neurodiversity-affirming mindset helps us interpret these reactions through a lens of understanding rather than correction. It starts with the belief that differences in attention, energy, and sensory processing are not deficits to fix—they’re part of the natural spectrum of human experience.
When we apply that perspective to the holidays, our expectations begin to shift. Instead of assuming there’s a single “right” way to celebrate—always being cheerful, social, and flexible—we start recognizing that each nervous system has its own rhythm and needs for safety and connection.
Some children come alive with novelty and social energy, while others rely on predictability and quiet to feel secure. None of these patterns are wrong; they simply reflect how different nervous systems adapt to a season filled with change.
Recognizing Ableism in the Holiday Season
In our ADHD Awareness Month post, we explored how ableism shows up when environments are designed for only one kind of brain and body. The same holds true during the holidays. Holiday ableism often hides beneath well-meaning traditions, comments, and expectations—when we value participation, appearance, or behavior over access and regulation.
Ableism during the holidays can sound like:
“She needs to be more polite—go give Grandma a hug.”
“He’s being ungrateful; everyone else is having fun.”
“You’re too old to have a meltdown.”
“We all had to sit still through dinner when we were kids.”
“Come on, it’s just lights—it’s not that loud.”
These messages—spoken or unspoken—send the signal that some ways of being are acceptable, and others are not. For a neurodivergent or highly sensitive child, that can translate to shame, masking, or withdrawal.
A neurodiversity-affirming approach reframes the moment. Instead of assuming a child is being oppositional, we ask what their nervous system might be communicating:
A child avoiding hugs may be protecting their body’s sense of safety.
A teen isolating in a quiet room may be recharging after too much social energy.
A meltdown after a big day may signal exhaustion, not defiance.
When caregivers see through this lens, they shift from managing behavior to supporting regulation. The goal isn’t to make every child “fit in,” but to make belonging possible without forcing conformity.
Creating Access and Belonging
These reflections on ableism naturally lead us toward designing for access—asking what each child’s body and brain might truly need during this time of year.
Neurodiversity-affirming holiday planning means asking:
- What sensory environments will my child encounter, and how can I reduce overload?
- How can we honor both connection and recovery time?
- Are there flexible options for participation?
Small shifts can transform experiences:
- Offer choices about greetings (a wave, fist bump, or verbal hello).
- Let kids take sensory breaks between events.
- Normalize headphones, comfort items, or movement breaks as part of regulation—not as misbehavior.
- Build in quiet rituals like reading, snuggling, or drawing together to help the nervous system return to safety.
When families model this kind of flexibility, children internalize a powerful message: I am allowed to have needs, and those needs will be met with care.
Honoring Different Rhythms
Every nervous system has its own way of experiencing joy and connection. Some children thrive on new experiences and stimulation, while others find comfort in familiar traditions and quieter routines.
The holidays can feel chaotic for sensitive nervous systems, but they also offer a chance to practice co-regulation, self-awareness, and compassion. When adults respond to dysregulation with curiosity rather than control, we communicate safety—and safety is what allows the nervous system to return to balance.
When we design for fit rather than fix—creating environments that work with the nervous system instead of against it—we help children learn to trust both themselves and the adults who support them. True regulation grows from that trust.
Free Resources and Support from Early Connections During this Season
At Early Connections Child & Family Counseling, we offer counseling services for children, teens, young adults, and families—helping each person feel seen, supported, and understood. Our therapists use a trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming approach grounded in relational neuroscience and regulation-based care.
We also provide free resources to help families continue this work at home:
- More Blog Posts on child and teen mental health
- A Parenting Book Guide with trusted recommendations
- Crisis Resources for families in need
- Monthly Newsletter and Free Resources Library (subscribe to our newsletter to gain access to the library), which includes two new, printable handouts for this season:
These handouts are designed to complement this post and offer practical ways of staying regulated through the holidays—helping families find grounding, rhythm, and connection during a season that can feel unpredictable.
A Closing Word
The holidays invite us to notice our rhythms, listen to our bodies, and meet ourselves and our children with compassion. Every nervous system needs moments of rest, connection, and safety to thrive.
This season, may you and your family practice staying regulated through the holidays—not through perfection, but through presence. Because true connection grows when we honor what our bodies and hearts are trying to tell us.
This post draws on concepts and activities from Beacon House Therapeutic Services and Trauma Team’s resources: “Taking Mindful Moments” (Louise Best, Dramatherapist) and “Managing Sensory Overload.” Used with acknowledgment to Beacon House, www.beaconhouse.org.uk.
